Forgive me for not sharing my annual Thanksgiving adventures with you this year. My heart was simply not in The Spirit, what with three kids, a husband, and plenty of last minute cancellations to kept me tied to the Unhappy Unhappies. And now, after the last of the turkey has been carefully wrapped and hidden away in the frigo where I needn’t think about yet another turkey-leftover-based dish, some vicious species of micro-organism has taken over and is holding the entire family hostage, insisting on a huge supply of tissues, cough medicine, and sleep. Who has time to sleep these days?

Not only all of that, but the Whole Affair was overshadowed by The Baptism of Marc’s nephews the following day. My painstakingly prepared feast was certainly pale by comparison, considering the parents of said nephews not only had their shin-dig catered, but also employed a waitress for the entire thing. My fare was simply not on par with such high-class offerings, and that has left me in a giblet gravy funk.

I simply must plan another holiday meal for friends, one where I too can go high class and upstage the rest of the family. Send donations and reservation requests to my e-mail darlings. I’m feeling the need to make something gourmet.

I shan’t bore you with all of the stupendous things that have made me feel thankful this year. The list, while meaningful to me, would probably bore you to tears. And let’s face it, a Thanksgiving List at this point would only serve to point out what a horrible person I am when faced with time constraints. Thanksgiving is so last week! So on to other things.

A house update: We still have not received the stupendous and damning report from the Judicial Expert, the one that was due back on the 15th of August. We cannot, therefore, start any work on the house, and this depresses me no end. We have, however, received a copy of the complaint to be filed by our wonderful lawyer against the (expletive deleted) builders who have make such a total mess of things. And here I have a little hope. Should the courts decide to inflict maximum damage on this guy (and we all know they won’t but play along to make me happy), he’s looking at 13 years 6 months in prison PLUS over One Million Euros in fines. I’m not clear on where the One Million would go, either to us or to the courts, but hell, I’d love to see his lying cheating incompetent ass in jail. Would LOVE it.

And if any of you magically inclined out there have a spell or potion that would change me into the proverbial fly on the wall when they serve him with these papers, PLEASE let me know. I’d LOVE to see it. I would, I would, I would!!!

Monkey Update: Monkey-1 is doing really well, aside from being sprawled on the couch in The Sick Position. Like any man, he’s more than pitiful and pathetic when overwhelmed by germs. And like any good mommy, I am playing along, allowing him such luxuries as any DVD his heart desires and extra helpings of candy. Monkey-2 has yet to forget that she’s able to climb Everything In The House. She is pure energy, that one, and, I have to admit, quite charming about it. Her evil disposition has melted away and she’s turned into a lovely, beautiful, and yes, more-often-than-not, sweet creature. Monkey-3 had her six month check-up this morning and is doing quite well. We changed her milk again just after my arrival home and quite against the doctor’s orders, but as we’ve found more often than not, mommy knows best, and it turns out we did the right thing. Gone are the days of projectile vomiting and watery poo. Gone too are the struggles to make her eat anything, for the love of God! Nope, Mom’s pick goes down, stays down, and comes out exactly like it should. And she’s growing, so all’s well in that department as well.

Other Updates: No news is good news, right? I’m going to go make myself a strong cup of honey-laced lemony tea and snuggle with my box of tissues. Send evil, germ killing thoughts to the microbes that have taken over by body, will ya? Please?


* The E-MIL’s pronunciation of Thanksgiving.