01 March 2007
My dishwasher is so much cooler than yours
Why? Because if you load it just right it makes this clinking noise that sounds exactly like the music to Lenny Kravitz’s I Belong to You. I’m going to have to experiment and see if it plays any other tunes as well.

Life is just full of random crap like that lately. Like did you know that REST! means VACUUM! and MOVE ALL THE FURNITURE AROUND! at the same time. I had no idea that REST had those meanings, but I’ve never exactly been the sharpest tool in the shed.

Oh, and my diabetes? Get this: I eat a pre-packaged sandwich and a coke and my sugar comes in at 89 (very good), but I eat a ‘real’ ‘balanced’ meal, and it hovers around 130 (bad). Coke, could be the cure for diabetes!

Hey, sanity now has a price tag! Yep! For 1.75€ an hour I can be mentally healthy! That’s the price to put my kids at the crèche, where they started today, and where I had to pry Muppet away from their toys (much cooler than here) and drag him screaming to the car. And the best part! When Monkey v 3.0 shows up, that price goes down…

Sometimes being poor is cool as shit.

My Thing just figured out that putting a bit of conditioner in his hair makes it more manageable. Any one else want further proof that he’s from another planet?

Because I have it! Remember that bump I complained about when Piglet was born? The one that made her look like a Klingon? And the same one that I eventually laid claim to because I found a photo of me with a humpy, lumpy head? Dude, it ain’t mine! Marc’s new nephew has the same friggin humpy bumpy ridge-y lump thing going on, only on him it’s like even uglier than it was on Pooplette, because that kid, he’s FUGLY. I have no idea what happened because when he was born he was rather cute. But man, now…ugh!

In fact, the only thing uglier than that kid is our house, where the creeping mold is taking over everything and, you know, I just cannot care anymore. The sub-contractors didn’t put up a time challenge thingy, so we’ll officially have the tribunal’s decision on the 8th of March.

Of course, this hasn’t helped the wonderful new situation with my blood-pressure. It was 160/100 during my last visit with OB-GYN Kenobi who promptly sent me downstairs to L&D to figure out if I should be admitted or not, put on a treatment or not, or just sent home with a warning. I ended up going home because I’m going through the same thing I did with Muppet. One minute the BP is too high (like 160/100), the next it’s too low (100/50). The cure? REST!

But, apparently I’m getting too much REST! (see definition above) and not enough REST! (see any dictionary). Is there anyone out there capable of making It understand that pregnancy changes EVERYTHING for me? And that maybe, instead of wishing things back the way they were or could be, It should just fucking adapt, too? It would probably make EVERYTHING a lot easier on EVERYONE.

But I did manage to get a pregnancy support belt thingy out of the deal and that, in the few hours I have had it and been able to glide around the kitchen with my belly supported and my back aligned, has changed a lot of things. I might actually be able to find a comfy position to sleep in now that my hips aren’t SCREAMING at me.

And speaking of, I might just go try to do that now…if I can convince someone the SHUT THE FUCKING TV OFF AND GO TO BED FERCHRISSAKE!
posted by Doc at 21:59 | Permalink |


  • At 00:43, Blogger mad muthas

    see - all this would be so much easier if you had a woolly uterus. machine washable too!

  • At 06:42, Blogger Catherine

    Well hell's bells, woman. Thank the gods you're alive! When was the last post, like a month ago?? dude. You can't just post about the glucoserie issues and then skip town, ya know.

    Okay. Now get off the computer and go rest.

  • At 08:29, Blogger Linda

    It's a mystery to me how they can expect a married mother of two to get any rest. Not going to happen.

  • At 17:42, Anonymous kat

    You should totally have them put you in the hospital hotel for a week to recoup. At least there with all the iv's and such, you won't be able to vacuum! :)

  • At 17:45, Anonymous kat

    oh and I WISH my daycare were that cheap, I'm poor too, but not poor enough by American standards, mine is still $105/week for one 3 yr old (and that's actually with a discount because she's potty trained! You have it good, well in that department!

  • At 23:06, Blogger The Late Bloomer

    Sorry to hear things are so tough... Augh, why do the Things (It, if I've understood correctly!) never seem to understand this kind of stuff?! They'll never get it, will they?

    Hang in there. Hope you have someone to give you a break from time to time. And God bless la cràche!

  • At 23:16, Blogger jchevais

    Cripes woman.

    I hardly get over to your blog because, for some unknown reason I don't understand, I can't consult it from work (where my internet connection is) but I want you to know that as soon as you pop, you better believe that you should get your butt down to paris so that you can rest and so we can do some fun shit together.

    We can bad mouth our eegit husbands (if they are actually two different people)... and giggle like unfettered schoolgirls without stretch marks.

  • At 12:40, Blogger Deb

    Oh Doc, you poor woman! I always admire your sense of humor when it comes to handling difficult situations. But you do need to calm down and REST! For the sake of you and your baby. Give your husband a swift kick in the butt and get him to help you out a bit more.