Just say no? Don’t work, hon. I want to know which of you birches out there has been selling my husband the Ruffies.

Here is my list of suspects:

Buzzgirl. You top the list. Why? Because of this comment you made: “Whoa, dude. You're pregnant?!! I TOTALLY missed that. Note to self: must stop smoking crack.” Yep, I’m all for putting the crack pipe down. Amazing how much crap I missed, too.

Catherine. You’re a close second. “I swear I didn't know that germs could be passed via blog.” Riiiiight. I’m supposed to believe that? Regular germs might not pass this way, but apparently the Gee-My-Uterus-Just-Pops-Kids-Out-One-Right-After-The-Other germs pass just fine.

D from Fla, Ms. Pardon my French (indeed!), and Dear Aimee in Gay Paris y’all all rank up there, too. Misery loves company, right? But damn. Why me? WHY?

Yes, if you haven’t figured out the cryptic shit, the rabbit died. Again. For the third time. In less than three years. I can hear my mother laughing. “You have three kids in three years and people look at you like you are dumber than a box of rocks.”

Hello, my name is Doris, and I am dumber than a box of rocks.

PS: Happy Birthday Poopee--looks like you're ending up with ten after all. Sorry you're not around to share the fun.