See, I’ve been waiting, thinking eventually all of this crazy shit is going to calm down. And, even though my husband has calmly assured me things will slow down, and the expert working on our house nightmare has assured me things will work out and even our lawyer has emphasized that all things come out right in the end, I’ve finally realized that all of these people are full of shit. Two of them are so full of it their eyes are brown.

November is supposed to be the calm month. The harvest is over, the winter crops have been sown. There’s a bit of breathing room before the end of year fermage, where Marc has to go around and shell out ungodly amounts of money for his fields. November, usually, we breathe.

Not this year.

This weekend we have to be in two places at once—Marc’s sister’s birthday and the big Farmer’s Hoe-down. Guess which one we’ll be skipping (amen). Next weekend we’re off to the local theater to see a few friends in what the Catholic newspaper has called “a pathetic performance worthy of being put in the gutter and forgotten”. I imagine it will be a hoot, as the critic for that paper is, so I hear, rather anti-performing arts. And a homophobe, but that’s another rant. The weekend after that is another Farmer Do, this time with all the guys who helped break the French plowing record. I’m looking forward to this one a bit because it’s in Joinville and it’s not exclusively JA (young farmers), or even older farmers. I’ll get to rub elbows with some of the folks who may eventually play a roll in my future and God knows, I love politics—especially local French politics. And then of course, the weekend after that is Turkey Day Bash 2006, or the fifth annual Doris Tries To Kill Herself By Cooking Day, with about 30 of our closest friends and family.

In between, I’m trying not to be too sick or too tired all the time—the sick part I think I’ve got under control, but the tired part? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz huh? Oh, yeah. Monkey One thinks his nickname has changed to Red Leader One and I’m having a very difficult time convincing him he is not, in fact, Ruler of the Universe. Piglet is no longer content to pass her days in the baby prison no matter how many wonderful and fun toys we give her. She likes, yea needs her independence. This means little more than my mental illness is spiking off the charts.

We’re also supposed to have word on the house, when and if they’re going to start fixing things. The IF is the big question. Everyone, Marc and myself included, think they are just going to file bankruptcy and we’ll prendre tout dans le cul. Preparing myself for this is probably the hardest part of this entire time because I am living in the house from hell. And every day that passes means another bit of my sanity dies.

We’ve got some serious furniture issues to work out as well. Monkey has got to go into a big bed, which means a trip to IKEA!!!! is in the near future, as is a serious change in decorating. I just can’t fathom bringing something else into this house of no space. It makes me shake.

I had high hopes of actually participating in NanoWrimo, bwahahaha.

Marc will be gone often. Not only does he have his regular meetings all the damn time, but he’s gone three days with the université d’hiver for the JA and three more days with the SAFER.

Oh, and during one of his trips The Original Sister In Law will be making a stop in France. I’ll be driving to Strasbourg to see her before she gets back on the boat and takes off for the next port of call. This means that between now and then I have to turn my savage beasties into half-civilized domesticated beasties because I can see myself, all too well for that matter, beating them senseless right outside the European Court of Human Rights. And I’d like for the standing invitation to visit if we ever make it back over to that side of the ocean to remain open, even though OSIL and Bro would have to really be nuts to let us in their house with three monkeys in tow.

What else? Oh, yeah, there’s Christmas to get ready, a Christening gown to start, doctor visits and ultrasounds and visits to the vampires to get my blood work done. And naps, lots and lots of naps. Starting now.